How to answer an invitation, what RSVP, potluck and BYOB mean, what to bring, and how a visit to an American home goes.
Being invited is a good sign. A few simple habits make you a welcome guest.
RSVP
RSVP means "please reply". The host needs to know how many people are coming.
Reply by the date on the invitation, yes or no. Use the method they asked for: text, email, an online invitation link.
"Regrets only" means reply only if you cannot come.
Do not bring extra people unless the invitation says "plus one" or "family welcome". If unsure, ask: "Is it okay if I bring my husband?"
If your plans change, tell the host as early as possible.
Kinds of gatherings
Potluck: every guest brings one dish to share. Ask: "What should I bring?" Bring enough for 6 to 8 people. Dishes from your country are usually very welcome. A small card with the dish name and main ingredients helps people with allergies or diets.
BYOB: "bring your own beverage" or "bottle". Bring your own drinks, alcoholic or not.
Cookout or barbecue (BBQ): an outdoor meal, often in summer.
Open house: people come and go during a set time. You can stay a short time.
Baby shower or bridal shower: a party with gifts before a baby or wedding. Often there is a gift registry (an online list of wanted gifts).
Visiting a home
1
Arrive on time or up to 15 minutes late. Not early.
2
Bring something small: flowers, dessert, a drink, or a gift from your country.
3
Ask: "Should I take my shoes off?" Some homes do, many do not.
4
Offer to help: "Can I help with anything?"
5
Do not open closed doors or walk around without being invited.
6
A dinner usually lasts 2 to 3 hours. When the host starts cleaning up or the evening slows, it is time to leave.
7
The next day, send a short message: "Thank you for having us. Dinner was wonderful!"
Your diet
If you do not eat certain foods, tell the host when you accept: "I'd love to come. Just so you know, I don't eat pork." Hosts are glad to know.
Common mistakes
Saying "maybe" and never answering.
Bringing three friends without asking.
Feeling hurt if an American does not insist many times. If they offer food once and you say no, they believe you. Say "Yes, please" if you want it.