CULTURE AND PEOPLE · 3 MIN
Everyday manners: space, lines, time and politeness
In short
The unwritten rules: personal space, waiting in line, please and thank you, eye contact, holding doors and being on time.
Every country has unwritten rules. These are the ones newcomers notice most in the US. Nobody expects you to know them on day one.
Personal space
Americans usually stand about an arm's length apart when talking.
In shops and on sidewalks, people say "
Excuse me
" when they pass close to you, and "
Sorry
" if they touch you by accident. Do the same.
Touching people you do not know well (arm, shoulder) is uncommon. A handshake is the normal greeting at work. Some friends hug.
Lines
People form a
line
(queue) and wait their turn at stores, buses, counters and bathrooms. Pushing ahead ("
cutting in line
") makes people angry.
If you are unsure, ask: "Are you in line?"
At a counter, wait for "Next!" or "I can help who's next."
Please, thank you and sorry
Use "please" and "thank you" with everyone, including cashiers, drivers and cleaners.
"Excuse me" gets attention politely. "Hey!" can sound rude to a stranger.
"Sorry" is used a lot, for small things.
Eye contact and smiling
Looking people in the eyes when you talk shows honesty and attention, including with teachers, bosses and police.
Strangers may smile at you on the street. A smile back is enough.
Holding doors
People hold the door for the person behind them. Say "Thanks!" when someone does it for you.
Time
Be
on time
for work, classes, doctor visits and interviews. For medical appointments, arrive 10 to 15 minutes early to fill in forms.
If you will be late, send a message before the start time: "Sorry, I'm running 10 minutes late."
For parties at someone's home, arriving 10 to 15 minutes after the start is normal. Arriving early can be awkward.
In public
Keep your voice low on public transport and phone calls in public.
Use headphones for videos and music.
Throw trash in bins. Littering can bring a fine.
Do not spit on the street.
Common mistakes
Standing very close behind someone at an ATM or pharmacy counter. Give them space.
Not saying anything when bumping into someone. A quick "Sorry!" fixes it.
Missing an appointment without calling. Many doctors charge a
no-show fee
.
Read next
"How are you?" and American small talk
Why strangers ask how you are, what to answer, safe topics, and how to start and end a short conversation.
3 min
Invitations, RSVPs, potlucks and home visits
How to answer an invitation, what RSVP, potluck and BYOB mean, what to bring, and how a visit to an American home goes.
3 min
Directness, humor, feedback and topics to avoid
How Americans say no and give feedback, how humor works, how it differs by region, and which questions feel too personal.
4 min