Moving to a new country changes almost everything at once: language, food, weather, friends, work and your role in the family. Feeling tired, sad or irritated is a normal reaction, not a failure.
Not everyone goes through all of them, and they do not come in a straight line.
Honeymoon: everything is new and exciting.
Frustration (culture shock): small things become hard. You miss home, feel tired of speaking English, or angry at how things work. Often in the first months.
Adjustment: routines form. You know where to buy things and how to ask for help.
Adaptation: you feel at home in both cultures. Some people also feel "reverse culture shock" when they visit home.
Signs you are in a hard phase
Sleeping much more or less than usual.
Feeling irritated by everything American, or only wanting to be with people from home.
Headaches, stomach problems, low energy.
Crying easily, or feeling nothing.
A routine: regular sleep, meals and a reason to leave the house each day.
Movement: a daily walk, a gym, a sports group.
Familiar things: cook food from home, keep your traditions, speak your language with friends.
New connections: one class, group or volunteer activity (see the guide on making friends).
Small wins: learn one new thing each week, like the bus route or the library.
Talk about it with someone who understands, including other newcomers.
Winter blues and seasonal depression
In much of the US, winter days are short and dark, and many newcomers come from warmer, sunnier places.
Many people feel lower energy and mood in winter. When it is strong, lasts weeks and affects daily life, it may be seasonal affective disorder (SAD), a type of depression.
Get outside in daylight, especially in the morning, even when it is cold. Dress warmly (see the clothing guide).
Keep moving and seeing people.
Light therapy with a special light box is a common treatment. Talk to a doctor before starting.
See a doctor if you feel low most days for two weeks or more. Depression is treatable.
When to get help right away
If you think about hurting yourself or ending your life, call or text 988, or go to an emergency room. You are not alone and help is free.
Comparing your first months here with your whole life at home.
Staying inside all winter.
Thinking you must hide your feelings to look strong.